It’s been more than 7 weeks since life – as we used to know it – had come to a sudden halt in most countries around the world.
I know I haven’t been very good at updating this blog lately (self-promo: I’m a bit more active with daily posts on my Instagram if you’re interested), and there are two main reasons for this:
First, I’ve scratched quite a few posts I’ve either drafted or planned because I didn’t feel like publishing them at the time. I don’t think we should deal with the coronavirus 24/7, but writing about sustainable lifestyle changes, beauty, or design, or anything else I usually write about just seemed – irrelevant? Not important? Not urgent?
I’m not sure which exactly, and I’m not sure whether that was a good call either, but at the time, this is what felt comfortable to me. I’m over this, by the way, so expect a more regularly updated schedule in the future.
But that wasn’t the only, or rather the main, reason. To be honest, for the most part of these 7 weeks, I simply didn’t really feel like writing anything. Frankly, sometimes I didn’t feel like doing anything that could be considered even slightly productive or creative.
I consider myself incredibly lucky and privileged that my world hasn’t really been turned upside down. As much as a freelancing life can be considered secure, mine is at the moment. I’m healthy, my family is healthy. My brother is a doctor and works at a hospital, but thankfully, the situation in their place is not as bad as in some other health care institutions around the world. While there’s a lockdown here in Hungary, it’s nowhere near as strict as in Italy or Spain for example.
And it’s exactly for this privilege that for some time, I didn’t want to acknowledge or voice some of the internal struggles or anxieties I’ve had. Because when you see the tragedies unfolding in the world, the daily heroic fights, it seems a bit preposterous to complain about how you miss traveling, weekend brunches, family hugs, or so.
But you know what? This is not a healthy attitude. It doesn’t make me less grateful or compassionate if I admit that I have anxiety or negative thoughts, even when I know that other people go through much worse. I can try putting things in perspective (in fact, it’s one of the most important things to practice in life), but I cannot totally escape my own reality.
This may be totally self-explanatory for some of you – but it wasn’t for me. It took me some time to be OK with talking about my anxieties and how much this situation sucks.
In the weeks of self-quarantine, social media sometimes helped, sometimes it didn’t. I do feel inspired when I see how other people cope with quarantine, the nice things they do, the cool projects they start. They can totally motivate me to get off the couch and create something. But on bad days, when my biggest achievement was reaching level 15 on Hollywood Rush (a mind-numbingly dumb but for this reason strangely comforting game), they also made me feel ten times worse. Like I was wasting precious time I could use for something positive.
My current enlightened state is due to much self-reflection and a healthy dose of self-acceptance. I’ve learned to accept that some days are better than others and I try to focus on the achievements, no matter how small, instead of obsessing over what I should do better.
So, if your last 2 months were nothing like a wellness retreat, if you haven’t learned a new language, mastered the art of baking artisan bread, planted flowers for your balcony, or read War and Peace, don’t worry and don’t be too hard on yourself. Normally, I like pushing my boundaries a bit too, but these are not normal times. Whatever helps you cope with your situation and protects your mental health, do it, without regrets.
(Plus, not to be a downer, but I’m afraid that even with the loosening of restrictions, we are still going to have more than enough time in the coming months for all those world-changing plans.)
These are a couple of things that have helped me personally in the last few weeks.
Reading
In mid-March when it all started, I thought, OK, at least my 70 books a year would be a walk in the park now. Turned out, quarantine not only did not boost my reading time, but it cut it down drastically, at least in the beginning. I was simply unable to focus on books, my mind kept wandering, or worse, I kept reaching for my phone. In hindsight, this was probably normal, but it was still frustrating at first. It took me a good 3-4 weeks to get my reading mojo back and find escapism and comfort in books. Nowadays, I read in the morning and evening, and on some days I even allow myself the luxury of reading for an hour or so in the middle of the day, when I feel my productivity hits rock bottom.
Slow rituals
I tried to convert my daily routines into slow rituals – which are basically improved versions of routines performed with mindfulness. Making a cup of coffee and stopping to deeply inhale the rich aroma of your first cup. Opening the windows in the morning and appreciating the crisp air and the first rays of sunshine. Making a luxurious bath instead of a quick shower. Brewing a perfect cup of tea and drinking it on the balcony. Taking a daily walk and noticing how the trees are blossoming.
Photography
One of my main struggles during this time was the lack of visual inspiration that I usually get from traveling, going to museums and galleries, design stores, or just people watching. So, I started to take a lot more photos at home of seemingly totally mundane and uninteresting things. And it turned out, I get a lot of enjoyment out of this. Playing with the light, angles, colors, textures, trying to see the beauty in the ordinary is actually helping both my creative thinking and my state of mind.
Barre
Considering my love-hate relationship with exercise, never in a million years did I imagine that a workout would be one of the highlights of my day, and yet here we are. It started with some YouTube videos and then I found PSYCLE London’s IG classes and I’ve been obsessed ever since. The morning classes are still in the “no-way” category for me, but thankfully, they save the workouts for 24 hours.
Friends on Netflix
I think I saw Friends about a million times and I don’t even remember what made me click on it once again at the beginning of lockdown, but I’ve been binge watching it ever since. It’s just such a comforting, feel-good show, so I usually end my days with 1 or 2 episodes. Also, the 90s fashion of the earlier seasons is a big style inspiration for me at the moment.
Being mindful about my news consumption
Politics has always been a passion of mine, and normally I spend a lot of time on various news and political sites (if I’m being honest, probably way too much). But at one point, I just had to stop and really filter what I’m reading and watching. It wasn’t just the Covid news, but the surrounding political games that just got too much. I usually have a high tolerance for political bullshit, but I simply couldn’t process mentally and emotionally how some politicians tried to use this horrific situation for political gains. There will be a time for protest (our government is behaving even more disgustingly than usual), but for a little time now, I’m trying to focus on more positive things.
So, tell me, how are you, friends? How do you cope with this situation?
